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Friday, October 28, 2005

Does Your Liver Need An Overhaul? The Importance Of Liver Flushing. What You Don't Know Can Harm You: Know Your Cleaners Before You Buy.

If you experience major, persisting health problems, either physical or emotional, your liver may be congested with toxic compounds that are trapped within deposits of hardened bile (intrahepatic stones). Almost all health conditions, beauty problems and premature aging are closely linked with declined liver performance which is elusive to blood tests. Congestion in the bile ducts of the liver undermines the body's effort to make proper use of ingested food and vital energy. This, in turn, may lead to accentuated expressions of discomfort, including fear, anger, impatience, greed, depression, dis-ease and cynicism. Cleansing the liver of existing obstructions and impurities can help restore balance, vitality and happiness in every facet of your life.

When The Body Complains...

Unlike the stomach, for example, the liver never tells you directly when it is upset or needs special attention. It does tell you indirectly, though, when it starts to perform poorly. The following conditions would not occur if the liver were in optimum shape: skin irritation, weak eyesight, unhealthy bowel movements, irregular menstrual cycles, recurring headaches, unexplainable weight gain, loss of energy, sudden aging, elevated cholesterol levels, most allergies, constricted blood vessels, bloated abdomen, water retention, gastrointestinal trouble, breathing difficulties, poor memory and concentration, pain in the joints or elsewhere in the body, brittle bones, and any major illness such as heart disease, cancer, MS, diabetes or Alzheimer's.

The liver is responsible for processing, converting, distributing and maintaining the body's fuel supply which consists of nutrients and energy. Impeding these vital functions not only affects the body's performance as a whole, but also the health of every single cell. The liver cannot perform any of these functions properly if its bile ducts are clogged with deposits of hardened bile or "gallstones" (made of gall or bile). Gallstones are caused by a number of factors, including the modern fast pace of living, stress, imbalanced diets, disruptive lifestyle, use of medical drugs, stimulants and alcohol, and ingestion of chemical poisons, such as food additives and artificial sweeteners. Bile duct congestion results in major impairment of digestive functions, thereby reducing the nutrient supply to the trillions of cells in the body. This makes gallstones in the liver to be a major cause of physical and emotional illness.

The Amazing Liver Cleanse

The liver flush mentioned in this context is a straightforward, safe and painless do-it-yourself procedure using apple juice (or malic acid), olive oil, citrus juice and Epsom salts to dispel gallstones from the liver and, of course, also from the gallbladder. The flush is best done on a weekend at home. Although the liver flush is very easy to do, it is important to understand the process and follow all of the directions precisely. Since introducing the liver cleanse to hundreds and thousands of patients in the 1990s, I have received countless testimonies expressing total amazement about the fast and profound healing effects it produces. They encouraged me to write a book on the subject. The book, The Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Flush, includes the exact procedure and necessary background information for conducting this simple, yet most profound cleanse. Today, the liver cleanse has helped restore the health of thousands of people in all parts of the world.

Gallstones in the Liver - The Most Common Cause of Illness

An estimated one billion of the world's population will develop gallstones in their gallbladder at some stage in their lives. In the United States, 20 million adults suffer from gallstone attacks every year. In many cases, treatment merely consists of removing the gallbladder, at a cost of $5,000 per operation, with little or no regard to what causes gallstones. These statistics, however, do not account for the millions more who will develop gallstones in their liver or, or who already have them.

During my 30 years of practicing natural medicine around the world I have dealt with thousands of people suffering from all types of diseases. I can document that each one of them, without exception, has had considerable quantities of gallstones in their liver. Surprisingly, only relatively few chronically ill patients report having a history of gallstones in their gallbladder. However, as can be easily verified, every person suffering from heart disease, arthritis, MS, cancer or diabetes has hundreds if not thousands of gallstones blocking the bile ducts of their liver. The presence of gallstones in the liver is the main impediment to acquiring and maintaining good health, youthfulness and vitality. Gallstones are, in fact, one of the major reasons people become ill and have difficulty recuperating from illness.

Medicine's Most Unfortunate Oversight

Most people believe that gallstones can be found only in the gallbladder. This is a common false assumption. Most gallstones are actually formed in the liver and comparatively few occur in the gallbladder. You can easily verify this assessment by giving yourself a liver cleanse. It matters little whether you are a layperson, a medical doctor, scientist, or someone who no longer has a gallbladder and, therefore, is believed to be free of gallstones altogether. The results of the liver cleanse speak for themselves. Once you see hundreds of green or beige-colored gallstones floating in the toilet bowl during your first liver flush, you will intuitively know that you are on to something very important in your life.

I am repeatedly asked the intriguing question - why is there only little or no reference in mainstream medicine to the occurrence of gallstones in the liver? The failure to recognize the incidence of gallstone formation in the liver may very well be the most unfortunate oversight that has ever been made in the field of medicine, both orthodox and complementary forms. Heavy reliance on blood tests for diagnostic purposes, as seen in most medical practices, may actually be a big disadvantage with regard to assessing liver health. Most people who have some sort of physical complaint usually have perfectly normal liver enzyme levels in the blood, despite suffering liver congestion. Liver bile duct congestion is one of the commonest health problems, yet conventional medicine makes little or no reference to them, nor does it have reliable methods to diagnose these conditions. Liver enzyme levels in the blood become elevated only when there is advanced liver cell destruction, as is the case in hepatitis or liver inflammation. Liver cells contain large amounts of enzymes. When ruptured, the enzymes enter the blood and signal liver abnormalities. By then, however, the damage has already occurred. It takes many years of liver bile duct congestion before such an event becomes possible.

Unless there is a specific liver disease, such as liver cirrhosis, this vital organ is rarely considered a &culprit' for other diseases. The majority of gallstones in the liver and gallbladder consist of the same &harmless' constituents as are contained in liquid bile, with cholesterol being the main ingredient. This makes most of them &invisible' to X-ray and ultra-sound technologies.

Therefore, standard clinical tests are not a reliable way to detect gallstones (hardened bile) in the liver.

On the other hand, a qualified iridologist, an Ayurvedic physician or a natural health practitioner who knows the signs and indications of gallstones in the liver and gallbladder, can quite easily determine the extent of gallstone formation in these organs. [Such indicators are listed in the book The Amazing Liver Cleanse, available through www.authorhouse.com]. Most people in the civilized world have gallstones. But even in alternative or complementary medicine, there is rarely mention of an effective therapy that can actually remove gallstones safely and without pain. Even when all other disease-causing factors are eliminated, if gallstones are still present in the liver, they remain the hidden harbingers of future illness.

Reaping the Benefits

Those suffering from chronic illnesses usually have several thousand gallstones congesting the bile ducts of the liver. Some stones may have impacted the gallbladder as well. By removing these stones through a series of liver cleanses, and maintaining a reasonably balanced diet and lifestyle, the liver and gallbladder will be able to restore their natural efficiency, and most symptoms of discomfort or disease in the body will quickly begin to subside. Allergies will lessen or disappear, back, neck and shoulder pain will dissipate, and energy and wellness will improve dramatically. There is no part of the body that doesn't benefit from liver cleansing.

Sweeping the liver clean eliminates thousands of bits of poisonous substances that have helped form the stones that block thousands of liver bile ducts. Cleansing the liver bile ducts from gallstones is one of the most important and powerful procedures to regain or improve your health and raise the body's vibration. By reopening the bile ducts, the body's energy circuit becomes restored and healing can take place on all levels of body, mind and spirit.

Andreas Moritz is a medical intuitive; a practitioner of Ayurveda, Iridology, Shiatsu and Vibrational Medicine; a writer and an artist. He has authored four books on health and healing: "The Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Flush", "Timeless Secrets of Health and Rejuvenation," "Lifting the Veil of Duality," and "It's Time to Come Alive" (all books are available through http://www.ener-chi.com or http://www.amazon.com).

Andreas also is the artist who created the oil paintings for a new innovative approach to healing through energized art, called Ener-Chi Art. His latest healing tool for clearing emotional blocks and fear is called "Sacred Sant�½mony - Divine Chanting for Every Occasion." Andreas runs a free forum "Ask Andreas Moritz" on the popular health website Curezone.com (5 million readers and increasing). For more information contact Andreas Moritz, visit his Web site http://www.ener-chi.com or contact him at tel. 1-864-848-6410, Greer, South Carolina, USA, E-mail andmor@ener-chi.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



The next time you visit your supermarket or neighborhood retailer, take a quick walk down the household cleaning isle. Take just a few seconds to notice the smell, then move on.

If you've already noticed the smell, have you ever wondered if breathing that in might be harmful to your health?

Well, that "clean-smelling" odor you detect all the way down the cleaner isle is caused by something industry experts have termed "out gassing." Out gassing is the process by which those chemical vapors escape from the containers as they sit store shelves. And, just breathing them can be extremely hazardous.

As you may know, inhalation (or breathing) is one of three major ways that harmful chemicals can enter your body. The other two ways include ingestion (or swallowing) and absorption through the skin.

Inhalation is even more dangerous than actually ingesting a chemical, because the harmful agents go directly into the blood stream to affect the lungs, heart, brain, liver, and kidneys. It happens almost instantly. These chemically-based cleaners may get the cleaning job done, but the vapors can enter your system and start doing their damage before you even realize what's happening.

Now let's talk about absorption. One square centimeter of your skin contains millions of cells and nerve endings. This is why we're seeing advertisements for anti-smoking or weight-loss patches. They work because the ingredients enter your body easily through the skin. Unfortunately, the same applies to chemicals.

Every time a cleaning product or other chemical touches your skin, it gets absorbed. Washing your hands after using such cleaners cannot prevent some level of absorption. In fact, even days after you've cleaned a surface, touching it, preparing food on it, or even walking across it can result in harmful chemicals being absorbed into your body.

The third way harmful agents can enter your body is the most obvious: ingestion. If you swallow something, it will eventually get into your blood stream and affect your internal organs.

Ingestion is what most parents of young children worry about when it comes to cleaners. Putting them up high or locking your cabinet may help, but unfortunate accidents still happen, leaving the parents of about 1.5 million children devastated each year when their children are poisoned in the home.

Now you're aware that ingestion shouldn't be your only concern. Armed with this information, perhaps you can better protect yourself and your family. However, there are a lot of other things most people don't know about the household cleaners they're using. For example:

1. Of 17,000 household chemicals, only about 5,100 (or approximately 30%) have been adequately tested.

2. The government has very limited power to regulate and require proper testing of household cleaners for their potentially harmful effects.

3. Less than 10% of our household cleaners have been tested on the human nervous system.

4. Products that kill 50% of lab animals they're tested on may still be legally designated as non-toxic.

5. No law requires manufactures to list the exact ingredients on the cleaning products package label.

If those facts make you a bit nervous, you're not alone. Many parents and consumer protection agencies are already calling for stricter regulations and better testing. More research is also needed to find safer alternatives to the harmful chemicals currently being used.

Still, many families are simply opting to avoid these cleaners altogether and purchase bio-safe, non-toxic household products.

Many of these safe cleaners are not only worry-free, but clean just as well or better than their commercially-made counterparts. These products are readily available online and elsewhere.

Those who are concerned about their family's health can purchase a myriad of safer products, and find numerous outlets to voice concern, including calling their state representatives to ask for government action.

Author Vincent Platania represents the Fuller Brush Company. Fuller Brush has been in business since 1906, and offers safe, environmentally friendly products for keeping your home and your body clean. Visit Fuller-Brush-Products.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



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Thursday, October 27, 2005

If You're Unhappy with Your Pain Relief Meds, Here's a Whole New Class You Haven't Tried. To dye or not to dye?.

If You're Unhappy with Your Pain Relief Meds, Here's a Whole New Class You Haven't Tried

The 8 That Are Produced in Your Brain

When you're in serious pain, the medications you're taking are mainly designed to neutralize the brain chemistry that relays pain signals. Here's why your subconscious may be more effective than drugs at doing that.

Unless you're taking anti-inflammatory drugs, the purpose of the pain meds you're taking now is to alter your brain chemistry so that pain signals don't get sent or felt. But brain chemistry is an extremely complex subject that's not fully understood, so these meds don't always work.

No fewer than eight brain chemicals are known to be involved in pain transmission - four to amplify pain, and four to limit it. If you target only one or two, as most drugs do, you may accidentally throw the others out of balance, possibly causing side effects or limited effectiveness.

This could be true whether you have back pain or pain in the neck or other extremities, arthritis pain, fibromyalgia pain, or neuropathic pain (nerve pain).

Because the subconscious controls the involuntary functions of the body, it may know what combination of neurotransmitters is most likely to ease your pain. It may also be uniquely positioned to create that combination on your behalf. To see how, let's take a brief look at each of these eight chemicals.

The Four Main Transmitters of Pain

�€� Glutamate is the main neurotransmitter used by the NMDA (N-methyl D-aspartate) pain receptors in the spinal cord, the ones most involved with chronic pain. Unless glutamate is present, those receptors don't work.

Activation of the NMDA receptors has serious consequences that you may be able to reduce using visualizations.

�€� Substance P can cause inflammation in some types of neuropathic pain. It can also help glutamate to activate NMDA, thereby greatly increasing the pain signal. Visualizations may be able to help you reduce these effects.

�€� Norepinephrine normally inhibits the perception of pain. But if the stimulus is prolonged, as in the case of back problems or fibromyalgia, norepinephrine may actually enhance pain signals. In some cases visualizations can help avoid this switch from pain inhibitor to pain facilitator.

�€� Acetylcholine helps to transmit pain signals. It's possible that some analgesics work simply because they prevent acetylcholine from being released. To relieve pain, The subconscious seems willing to adjust acetylcholine levels through visualizations.

The Four Main Inhibitors of Pain

�€� Endorphins and a sub-type called enkephalins are the body's main defense against pain. As soon as pain signals arrive in the brain these chemicals are released to inhibit both substance P and acetylcholine. If your pain is chronic your subconscious will probably request that you visualize an increase in endorphins.

�€� GABA inhibits both glutamate and substance P, the two main chemicals involved in chronic pain. Its release is triggered by the enkephalins. To ease pain, the subconscious often suggests an increase in GABA through visualizations.

�€� Serotonin relieves pain no less than four ways--by blocking the brain's perception of pain, making blood vessels more flexible, improving mood, and being linked to sleep. Using a visualization statement about increasing serotonin levels may thus be helpful in several dimensions.

�€� Dopamine, known as the feel-good neurotransmitter, is released not only during positive experiences but during pain as well. Too much of it can inhibit the endorphins, but the right amount can help to relieve pain. Achieving this balance through visualizations is something the subconscious may be able to do.

The Role of Visualization

If your pain meds aren't working, or are producing unacceptable side effects, consider this: the optimal way to manage neurotransmitters may be to induce your body to manage them naturally, through visualization statements.

Visualization statements represent the specific language that your subconscious wants you to read back to it to help ease your pain. They're simple and are targeted directly at the main factors that could bring you relief.

You can obtain these statements by learning how to communicate directly with your own subconscious mind. The process is straightforward and can be done at home by working with a facilitator over the telephone. You you need no special skills and no previous experience in working with the subconscious.

Balancing the Trade-Offs

In today's world of limited understanding about brain chemistry, the subconscious may in fact be one of the most useful tools you have balancing the many trade-offs between the neurotransmitters that control pain.

Ben Plumb is CEO and President of The Visualization Group, Inc. The company's service is delivered by people like himself who personally suffered from years of chronic pain, and used the visualization method described in this article to obtain relief when nothing else worked. For more information, please visit http://www.thevisualizationgroup.com.

(

c) 2005 The Visualization Group, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The methodology and program disclosed in this article are Patent Pending.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



"To dye or not to dye?" ...

that is the question. At least that was the question I began asking myself a decade ago as I grew weary of dyeing my grey-streaked hair. Back then, upon presenting my dilemma to my hairdresser I chose to follow his self-serving advice, "You'll have plenty of time to go grey!"

Giving up the quest for a glamorous, youthful look was especially difficult for me as I had been the fashion queen; owning fashion boutiques, doing image consulting and writing a fashion column for ten years. I had felt pity for my sister-in-law years ago, when she decided not to dye her hair. At that time I vowed to never "let myself go," and remain as youthful and glamorous as human powers would permit.

Yet, rather suddenly, more years of dying my hair passed and I found myself resenting being held hostage every six weeks to grey roots, chemicals soaking my scalp, dark stains along my hairline, and fumes in my eyes and lungs. More and more I begrudged the societal message clouting us: "Women lose their value, beauty and worth as they age and must do their utmost to hide the fact."

Proof of this message drives the multi-billion dollar beauty/anti-aging industry which goads us into defying nature and negating the beauty, vitality, sexuality and worth of aging, grey-haired women.

Now it is commonplace to perpetually dye greying hair; surgically nip, tuck and lift aging faces; Botox worrisome wrinkles away; lyposuction fat off thighs; enlarge small breasts; pluck "inappropriate" hairs (then draw eyebrows back on!); wear make-up with toxic ingredients; and keep wearing current clothing that was in style when we were teens.

Unwittingly, we have been drawn into an anti-aging war being battled upon our bodies. Each of us has to draw the line between wanting to look good and becoming a slave to twisted societal demands. Where do we say "Enough is enough?"

Letting our grey grow is the "road less traveled." The idea that we must be beautiful, youthful and lithesome to be acceptable and of worth is deeply ingrained within each of us. It can be an unnerving, shocking journey dumping our societies' shallow values, and coming to accept our bodies as they are: grey hair, no hair, overweight, wrinkles and all.

Three years ago, when I decided to stop dying my hair, with the support of my husband and young boy, I faced deep fears. Being mid-forties and grey-haired would I lose my man to a younger, prettier woman? Would they see me "on the way out" in my professional career? And what was I to do on those days the mirror reflected an old, unsexy, grey-haired woman?

It's interesting - I had to dig to the depths of my roots - in order to grow-out my roots. To grow grey I had to find the courage of my convictions and move against the mass belief. I had to go beyond my fears to find my own beauty and worth inside. Now, having experienced grey hair for three years, I can say it is incredibly freeing and comfortable to be who I am, just as I am.

To rise above societal beliefs and find our own intrinsic worth, beauty, vitality and sexuality let us begin with accepting, and caring for our bodies and our precious selves. Given the toxicity of many beauty products and treatments perhaps the question of - "To dye or not to dye" - should read... "To die or not to die," that is the question.

Teresa Proudlove

Teresa is the publisher/editor of http://www.yourlifework.com ; encouraging people to listen to their inner guidance, be gentle with themselves and practice present moment awareness.This entrepreneurial woman also, successfully owned two clothing boutiques for ten years. A well-read columnist for twelve years, Teresa continues her successful writing and teaching today as an editor/writer.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



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Monday, October 24, 2005

The Benefits of Corner Computer Desks. Link Building for Hilltop.

Corner computer desks are ideal for a corner space in the house or office. They give allow a worker to focus, giving the feel of an exclusive space. They optimize the space within a room and give a cozy look when decorated in tune with the rest of the room. They also come in various shapes and sizes and can be provided with additional fittings.

Corner computer desks are provided with a number of options such as additional space for accessories, modular designing, and various materials, such as wood, glass, metal and fiber. They are particularly ideal for home offices because little extra space is needed for the computer workstation. People working at corner computer desks enjoy privacy.

Corner computer desks are also designed ergonomically to minimize body strain. They may include trays for holding various accessories, as well as adjustable monitor and keyboard holders with varying mounting heights. Electrical, phone and data connections may also be discreetly placed to provide a more sleek look. Corner computer desks can be adjusted for proper height, mobility and fold-ability, and they may also double as a bookcase or table for added versatility.

Computer Desks Info provides detailed information on corner, glass, roll top, home, child, oak and cheap computer desks, computer desk hardware, and more. Computer Desks Info is the sister site of Office Chairs Web.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



Hilltop is one of the major concepts underpinning Google's search algorithm, yet its workings and implications are often misunderstood.

After the infamous Florida Update, many webmasters were aghast as their rankings plummeted; and again, when the mysterious "sandbox" was implemented, some webmasters could not get a Web site to rank well, period.

Part of the reason that some Web sites get shuffled out of the SERPs when new algorithmic features are implemented is that those sites never gained authority in the eyes of the search engines--that is, they were not sufficiently meshed into their local topical communities.

This concept of authority was one pioneered in a paper titled "Hilltop: A Search Engine based on Expert Documents," written by Krishna Bharat and George A. Mihaila. The full text is available online at http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~georgem/hilltop/.

(Note: Google has obviously not implemented Hilltop in its pure form, but rather uses the principles of topical communities and authority in its algorithm. Likewise, other search engines such as MSN and Yahoo! are not using Hilltop per se, but rather similar algorithmic features. Thus when I mention 'Hilltop' I am referring to not just the specific paper published by Bharat and Mihaila, but also to the fundamental theory upon which any authority-based link popularity algorithm is based. This theory applies to Topic-Sensitive PageRank, etc.)

The Basics of Hilltop

Google's PageRank formula revolutionized search, but it has a major flaw: it gives each page an absolute measure of importance. Recognizing that a page's importance should be interpreted in light of a given query topic, the Hilltop formula uses the link structure of the topical community related to the query topic when determining relevance.

For a given topic query, some pages are considered to be "expert documents," and others are "authorities." A page is an expert document if it "is about a certain topic and has links to many non-affiliated pages on that topic" (this type of page is also sometimes called a hub). A page is an authority "if and only if some of the best experts on the query topic point to it." To summarize: hubs link to authorities; authorities are linked to by hubs.

The Challenge for New Web Sites

The nature of the World Wide Web dictates that it will take time for a new Web site to get links from within its topical community. Many hubs such as resource lists or niche directories are only updated periodically with new links. Still others are static pages that will never be changed.

Then there is the "human factor." It takes time for a Web site to be recognized as valuable, and for webmasters to trust it enough to link to it. Older authority sites and hubs also tend to link to other older authority sites, creating a sort of self-perpetuating authority set (Mike Grehan refers to this phenomenon in his article "Filthy Linking Rich," available online at http://www.e-marketing-news.co.uk/Oct04/RichLinking.html). This all adds up to the fact that it is very hard to make a new Web site an authority in the eyes of the search engine, which begs the question: How can a new Web site become entrenched in its topical neighborhood more quickly?

Break Into Your Topical Neighborhood

To make your Web site an authority, you should first seek to obtain links from topical hubs. Obvious hubs might include any niche directories or resource pages about your Web site's topic.

One way to find less obvious hubs is to do a backlink search on authority sites in your topical community. Finding authority sites is easy--they are the sites that rank highly for a search for that topic. Once you find an authority, search "link:http://www.theirsite.com." Go through the backlinks, and find pages that link out to multiple sites within your topic; a page that links out to multiple authority sites is probably considered a hub by a search engine.

Aside from hubs, it can be quite helpful to get links from the authority sites themselves.

I have seen many Web sites get a significant boost after obtaining just one link from a top authority. It is implied that an authority site will link out less than will a hub, and therefore it is possible that these links are even more valuable in terms of rankings.

Obtaining links from quality hubs and authorities is easier said than done. One can however use certain methods to get links quickly. These methods include but are not limited to: offering to swap links; submitting a relevant, well-written press release; submitting a relevant, well-written article with your Web site's URL hyperlinked and embedded in the copy; offering to buy or rent a links; and, of course, writing a lot of great content (it will get noticed, sooner or later!).

Conclusion

Obtaining links from reputable sources within your Web site's topical community is necessary in order for that site to be ranked highly in today's search engine algorithms. Getting your Web site entrenched within its topical community would be a good idea anyway, even if search engines did not exist--which is a pretty good litmus test for a strong, long-term SEO method.

Andy Hagans is a search engine optimization consultant who specializes in link building and risk management.

Visit http://www.andyhagans.com for more information. See http://www.andyhagans.com/articles.php for an archive of Mr. Hagans' articles.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



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Sunday, October 23, 2005

Can Anyone Improve Their Reading Speed?. Balancing Power in Outsource Contract Agreements.

A question that is often asked of speed reading trainers is whether or not anyone can improve their reading speed. The simple, straightforward, answer to this question is "yes", they can. However, this is not to say that the leaner will not have to provide some input of their own: after all, all learning is a form of trade-off. In this

regard, the following are seen as the four essential elements that a student of speed reading will need to bring with them if they want to learn to speed read:

1. A desire to improve

Strange as it may seem, not everyone is willing to accept that there is a better method of reading than the one currently being used by the student. Most likely, the student has learnt their current reading method at a very formative age - probably on their mother's knee. As a result, it can be hard to try and convince students to adapt to new methods of reading, a skill we see as so fundamental, none of us is really willing to accept that we do not know how to do it, and do it well, already.

Therefore, a real desire to improve your reading speed is the first essential element you'll need to bring with you to class.

2. A willingness to accept new ideas

Another concept that we learn in our formative years is to sound out our words (technically called subvocalize) as we read them. In part this is done so that we learn how to pronounce the word, not read it! However, in later life this habit can be extremely difficult to break. But, if you want to be able to improve your reading speed, it is a habit you will have to break.

In addition, most of are taught at some stage in our life that if we have not comprehended, or understood, what we have just read, to go back and reread the passage. Again, this is a habit which speed reading courses see as a no-no. You will have to discard it if you want to improve your reading speed. However, it's not easy to do. Finally, whichever of the speed reading methodologies you select to learn, it is likely that you'll need to learn to read large chunks of information at the same time, or to skim read. As children we are taught that these practices are not good for us - we will likely miss information, or misinterpret it.

As you can see then, a willingness to accept new ideas is going to be essential if you want to learn to improve your reading speed.

3. Motivation

Although motivation may be considered similar to desire, the essential difference is that not only do you need to have the desire to learn, but you need to keep that desire for, potentially, a long period of time. In practice, learning the proper speed reading technique only takes a very short time. But the real test is in having to practice and practice everyday.

This means that

a student of a speed reading course is going to need to maintain the motivation to learn how to improve their reading speed over a prolonged period. Indeed, some would argue that you never stop learning to improve your reading speed.

4. Practice

The adage is "practice makes perfect", and nowhere is this adage more appropriate than in the reading learning process. Anyone who wishes to improve their reading speed is going to have to practice over prolonged periods.

Conclusion

To sum it up, if you want to learn how to improve your reading speed, all you is (i) desire; (ii) willingness; (iii) motivation; and (iv) practice.

Melvin Ng teaches speed reading through his 16-Minute Speed Reading Audio Program.

This breakthrough technique Guarantees to Double your reading speed in just 16 minutes! http://www.bestspeedreadingcourse.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



The practice of outsourcing business processes has long been subject to the discussion how best to ensure optimal benefits for both parties involved in the outsource agreement.

In conventional outsource agreements conflict often arises between the objective to minimize cost and the necessity to continually develop the service. This leads to unsatisfactory results for both parties. However, conflicts can be resolved by increasing the collaboration between both parties to a level where the service provider is considered a vital part of the purchasing company. This "annex" arrangement offers on-going and exclusive access to a customized service from the service provider in return for the advantages of a long-term contract granted by the service purchaser.

Traditionally, a service provider will argue in favor of a long-term outsourcing contract while the purchaser will often opt for short term agreements. This allows the purchaser the possibility of sourcing more effective competitive services. Purchasers often believe this approach keeps the providers "on their toes" and ensures the best level of service, at the best price. This may be so in the short-term, but the service provider, having no guarantee of continued business, will be less motivated to undertake long term investments developing their service particular to that one client. Instead, the provider will concentrate on the safety net of being able to offer their service to the market in general.

Considering the service provider an "annex" to the purchasing company can solve this power struggle to the benefit of both parties, but it necessitates a change of approach in many cases: although most companies claim that the reason for considering an outsource is strategic, the reality is often that the decision is purely financial, based on a calculated cost reduction. Annexing is only possible where the purchaser genuinely seeks to gain competitive advantage through competence or capability of service, as opposed to simply achieving an immediate lower cost.

In this form of outsourcing, the

service purchaser must choose a service partner who can sustain a long term delivery of service that continues to be more effective than a possible in-house alternative. In addition, and equally important, this service must remain superior to the provider's competitors. Winning the beauty contest today is good and well - but could the beauty fade with time? To ensure continued competitiveness, a number of measures can be taken that will lead to a partnership in which the purchaser finances its own superior position in the market, rather than buying a mere commodity service.

Close Collaboration

While many outsource dealings are conducted at arms length, and on a contentious basis, annexing relies on close long-term collaboration, or partnership. Collaboration between purchaser and service provider is not a new concept in outsourcing, but annexing takes it to a new level by treating the service provider as an internal entity. Still the purchaser shouldn't forget that the service provider (in most cases) knows its own business best and should be entrusted to conduct its own affairs accordingly, without unnecessary control or interference. Both parties must be confident that they are pulling in the same direction, and this necessitates free flow of information between the two partners, openly and without reservation on both the short and long term, on all aspects of the business.

Funding Investment

By entering into an annexing arrangement with a service provider, the purchaser must also rethink the financial objectives. Typically cost of service is a strongly negotiated factor, with both parties understandably looking for the best deal. However, with an annexing agreement, achieving the lowest cost or charge for the service may not benefit either party in the long run; it is worth keeping in mind that in an annex arrangement, the poor financial health of one partner can adversely affect the health of the other. By entering into contract at a cost which is too low, the service provider will be unable to realize a sufficient profit margin to allow for reinvestment in the further development of the service. Although, at the outset, the purchasing company may obtain a financial benefit from this situation, the benefit will be quickly lost as the provider's competences and capabilities diminish, and the service level consequently drops to a problematic level. Once at this stage, many service purchasers simply discard the provider and look to the competition in order to attain a better service. However, this constant change of provider means that a truly optimized solution is seldom achieved.

To resolve this issue, a more transparent approach to costing must be taken. The cost-plus method, where the purchaser agrees to pay the operating costs incurred by the service provider, plus a percentage - which is taken as profit - is particularly suited for annexing agreements. This calculation forms the baseline price of service, typically set at unit level. To ensure continued competitiveness, an amount must be dialed in on top of operating cost and profit to finance continued investment. As discussed earlier, sufficient funding must be available to the provider in order to allow them to continue research and development on their service. It is the responsibility of the service provider to identify these opportunities for further improvement in the service, and it is also their responsibility to prepare a business case detailing the cost and benefit of any investment. Again, the service provider must act like any other internal department and go through the appropriate channels in order to procure the additional funding from the purchaser.

Evolving Service Level Agreements

Another point to consider when entering into an annexing agreement is the Service Level Agreement (SLA). The SLA is the mechanism by which expectations are contractually managed - the service provider is explicitly aware of what they must deliver, and the purchaser is explicitly aware of what they must accept and pay for. Due to anticipated and continued development of the service over time, along with expected changes in dynamics in the partnership, it is necessary for the SLA to be built with evolution in mind. After all, it is unlikely that the SLA applicable today will still be fully applicable several years into the contract. It is the responsibility of the purchaser to set ever challenging expectations from the provider. As soon as one service improvement has been realized, the relevant SLA must take this new capability into account, and "raise the bar" further. This ensures that the service provider is being constantly challenged to come up with more effective ways to do business and stay ahead of the competition - the source of the purchaser's competitive advantage.

Two-way exclusivity

Exclusivity, naturally perceived as a danger by the purchaser in a traditional service agreement, works both ways in this type of outsourcing contract. While annexing means heavy reliance on the long-term partnership with one selected provider, the purchaser also requires that the provider must provide exclusively to them. This mechanism protects the investment that the purchaser places in the provider and ensures that the corresponding competitive advantage remains out of reach of competitors.

Through annexing, the exclusive collaboration coupled with ongoing investment in service development increases both parties' competitive position. When this is controlled by evolving service level agreements, the parties to the long term outsource contract can both finally deal from a position of equal power.

© GA Advisory 2005

Gavin Campbell
GA Advisory
gcampbell@ga-advisory.com
www.ga-advisory.com
+32 475 951 821

Gavin is a director at GA Advisory, a small and specialized consulting firm working with the Airlines, Express and Logistics industries. He has worked extensively in the area of performance improvement and organizational effectiveness in the manufatcurting, express and logistics industry, including 5 years as head of performance analysis at FedEx. Gavin has advised many of the worlds leading logistics and express companies, and has recently conducted assignments for DHL.

Gavin holds a law degree and an MBA from Henley Management College in England and is based out of Brussels Belgium.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



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8:09 AM |

Friday, October 21, 2005

Relationship Crisis: 6 Reasons to Get Physically Fit. Make Front Page News By NOT Inviting The Media.

Relationship Crisis: 617-->661-->661-->6 Reasons to Get Physically Fit

Relationship crises (break-up, affair, huge conflict, children problems) demand tremendous energy and often throw our lives off a healthy track - which further perpetuates our inability to respond in a healthy way to the crisis.

Don't forget your body while you wrestle with a relationship or marital crisis.

It is easy to let yourself go. It is easy to postpone - I will start tomorrow - your walking, running or workout. Your preoccupation with the other person floods your life, leaving little room for anything else. Or, you find yourself so overwrought that it seems impossible to "talk yourself" into getting started.

But, exercise and nutrition are powerful tools to help yourself at this point. Here are 6 reasons why:

1. Exercise and attention to your nutrition shift your focus to you. Exclusive focus on the other person atrophies your spirit, your energy, productivity, your healthy emotions and your body. You fade. You diminish. You become less than you truly are. So much of my work with others is helping them begin to think about themselves and take action for themselves. This is a major move. And it can begin by focusing on your body. It is the best, most practical place to begin. Your body is basic. It is a huge part of you. Begin paying attention to it.

2. Focusing on the body, using it, stimulating it, making it stretch and sweat is a great way to reduce stress. I'm not an expert here, but I understand it kicks in healthy body chemicals and cleanses some of the toxins - calming your mind, heart and soul.

3. Your confidence grows as you begin to manage your body and see changes in its endurance, strength and beauty. You begin to think better thoughts about yourself. Self-care can result in a minor miracle in terms of your perception of yourself.

4. You will begin to think of yourself as more desirable and sexy. Your sense of sexiness may be at risk. It may be on the line. It may be called into question. Doubts abound. It is a complicated and powerful issue in our culture. (Watch a few commercials on TV.) Exercise and physical health cuts through the doubts. Being physically healthy is sexy. You feel more sexual and you become more desirable.

5. Physical fitness is one of the first steps to becoming highly attractive and exerting your personal power. Once you believe and act attractive, the power of the relationship or marital crisis will lessen in your life. It actually might seem rather juvenile. Yes, there is more to attractiveness than looking great. But, we begin by honing our body, working it and caring for it. This builds the foundation for other forms of attractiveness and personal power.

6. You assume control. You may feel, as a result of the relationship crisis in your life, that you have little control or influence. It seems to become a waiting game. You wait for the other person. This other person or the situation seemingly dictates your every move and thought. You feel paralyzed. When you begin to move your body, you take control.

Getting on a great exercise, fitness program makes you the master of that part of your life. You are in control. That feels good. That is good.

Beginning an exercise/fitness program in the midst of a relationship crisis is easier said than done. Usually we need support, encouragement or some sort of structure to get us moving. We have good intentions, but the follow through is lacking.

You have no further to look than online. There are great sites on the web that help you get started, offer encouragement and resources and keep you motivated and on track. Take advantage of these resources.

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



Not a single reporter showed up at our news event. And we were THRILLED!

Not a single photographer showed up to capture the moment. And we were pleased as punch!

Not a single newspaper knew about the event. And we received front page coverage in every one!

You can make front page news by keeping the media away. But how did we do it? Here is the media relations plan we used:

BACKGROUND: A few years ago, I was working for a politician. In fact, he was a Canadian Member of Parliament (MP). That was about the time that Canada Post decided not to deliver mail to homes in new developments. Instead, new homeowners had to pick up their mail at community "superboxes" near the end of their streets. After laying down big bucks for fancy new homes, people expected the same door-to-door service they were used to, and my MP took the heat . . . even though Canada Post was an arms-length organization of the government.

GOAL: Our goal was to demonstrate that my MP cared, that he was on their side, that he was doing everything he could to help them.

IDEA: One of the complaints the new residents had was that they were not receiving their junk mail (Go figure!), including weekly grocery specials and, by coincidence, my MP's mailing to constituents. This gave me an idea. Why not send my MP door to door to deliver his bulletin, explaining how he, too, was frustrated that Canada Post would not deliver his bulletin to them.

CHALLENGE NUMBER ONE: But what about the majority of people who would not be home to see how my MP shared their gripes? We needed media coverage, so that everyone would read about it in their local newspaper.

CHALLENGE NUMBER TWO: This is a juicy story for reporters. Imagine the headlines: "Resident sock it to MP". Imagine the photos of angry residents waving their fists in rage against Canada Post. My MP would not look good one bit. The media had to stay away. But how would we get media coverage?

METHOD: We would have to report to the media "after the fact" that my MP had just gone door-to-door. We would have to supply everything the newspapers would need so that they have no need to recreate the event, search for angry residents to interview or ignore the story altogether.

First I wrote a news release. OK, so it did not read quite like a typical news release. It read like a newspaper article. Actually, it read like five different newspaper articles, because I wrote a completely different story for each of the five newspapers in the area. To some degree, I was able to emulate each one's style.

Next, we decided to provide photographs. We dressed my MP in a postal cap and had him carrying a postal bag. I snapped shots of him at doorways chatting with residents. This was just too "human interest" for any newspaper to ignore. Off to the one-hour photo developer, then we chose the five best shots and attached one to each of the news releases.

Zoom, zoom. We hand delivered an envelope to each newspaper. The entire process took us just five hours from knocking on the first door.

RESULT: Each newspaper had its own, unique, original story with its own, unique, original photo. This made the journalists happy. Four out of the five editors even used the headlines I provided! It also made readers, many of who received two or three of the newspapers, believe the media had been there in person . . . making the story all the more credible.

Can you repeat this success? Yes. If you want to get great media coverage, but you are afraid the media will pick up a negative angle, this is the recipe to use:

  1. Position your business as you would like to be seen.
  2. Find a way to demonstrate your position or characteristic.
  3. Write the story for each newspaper as the newspaper would write it, but place it in the format of a news release.
  4. Get some great visuals, going for action or something with a twist, and ensure each newspaper has a unique photo.
  5. Let the newspapers know that no other media outlet has the same photograph.
Of course, it is always best to invite the media to your event and serve donuts, but sometimes NOT inviting them is a better way to get not just "a" story, but the "right" story.

About The Author

David Leonhardt offers dozens more creative ways to make your business front page news in the media relations "how-to" guide Get In The News! at http://TheHappyGuy.com/publicity-self-promotion-report.html . For basic media interview training, visit http://TheHappyGuy.com/media-relations-video.html, or find out more about David Leonhardt at http://thehappyguy.com.

info@thehappyguy.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



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2:10 PM |

Thursday, October 20, 2005

View From The Barber's Chair. Why a Good-Quality Photo Should Accompany Your Articles.

IF you want to get your hair cut in Villefranche du Perigord, a village in the heart of France, you have two choices.
On one side of the street is a hairdressers, all chrome and shiny mirrors, a little further down is a barbers of the cutthroat razor kind.

But it's no Sweeny Todd style shop more a great place to enjoy a heavy dose of French life.

I'd already prepared myself for the visit, learning the French word for short, for a little shorter please and leave the sideburns as they are.

Well maybe not the last one.

I was also hoping that there would be a couple of pictures on the wall, like all good barbers, that I could at least point to.

But I then had a panic attack as I thought they all might be pictures from the 70's and I'd have to point to something that the Hair Bear Bunch would be proud of.

As I walked into the shop there was an old chap sat in the chair with the barber tending to his hair and chatting away.

They both turned towards me and said &bonjour'.

I returned the welcome and as there was no one waiting just sat on one of the chairs and waited my turn.

Ten minutes later and I was sat under the quick scissors and smooth style of Daniel Galdrat, Villefranche du Perigord's true barber.

"I've been a barber in the village for 43 years, I was born 50 meters away from the shop and I've lived here all my life," Daniel said.

"After I left school I trained to be a barber at college and started working in the shop."

Daniel is more of a sculptor than a hairdresser, he uses scissors and a comb like an artist uses a brush, with a delicate touch and dedication to detail.

He turns to his cutthroat razor to take the hair off the back of your neck and only uses the electric trimmers to tame your sideburns.

"It's a shame that hairdressers today only use the trimmers to cut people's hair, but that is what they are taught at college," said Daniel.

"They have no knowledge of how to use the scissors and comb to cut hair, they might as well be shearing sheep."

At the back of the shop is a collection of wooden mushrooms, walking sticks and canes - the other passion in Daniel's life.

He enjoys going out into the Dordogne forests around the village with his dog and camera to take pictures of mushrooms that he uses as the basis for his woodturning.

And it is clear to see the skills he has developed as a barber come out in his hobby again the touch of a sculptor is evident.

"I enjoy the mountains," Daniel said as he pointed to a large poster of the Alps on the wall.

"But I can't get to see them as often as I would like

"I am hoping to retire soon, but there is no one to take over the running of the shop as yet."

As my cut was coming to a finish another man dropped in to the shop, said bonjour, and shook both Daniel's hand and mine.

He said the weather was about to turn and as I got up to pay, he took his place in the barber's chair.

For more articles by Craig McGinty on living in France including tips on buying a home, the legal process and more, visit his website and live life the French way.
http://www.thisfrenchlife.com/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



I'm betting that that 3 out of 4 of you who are reading this don't have a good-quality photo that you could give the media if a reporter called you today.

I check the EzineArticles.

com website at least once a week, looking for articles for The Publicity Hound, my subscription newsletter on how to generate free publicity. When I find an article my readers would like, I email the writer and ask for a photo. More times than not, I'm disappointed. Three out of four people have poor-quality photos or none at all.

Writing articles to position yourself as an expert in your field, sell more products and services and pull traffic to your website is admirable. But don't stop there. You need a good-quality above-the-shoulders photo for publishers like me who want to use it online or offline and give you lots of free publicity.

If you're among the 3 out of 4 who don't have one, stop being a media mutt and start acting like a true Publicity Hound. Here are tips on how to get an inexpensive, good-quality photo.

Use a professional photographer

If your cousin has a new digital camera, or a cell phone with a camera, and offers to take your photo to save you money, use a professional instead. Trust me, the expense will be well worth it.

Many of the bad-quality photos I see are too dark, out of focus, grainy, scanned incorrectly, or taken against a busy backdrop--often by amateur photographers. I've seen photos that look as though people have plants growing out of the tops of their heads. One writer gave me a photo that shows him with his eyes closed. A woman gave me a photo of her in a sleeveless blouse, with her bra strap showing.

Some people offer snapshots that show them with friends and family members. Most editors won't bother cropping out babies, husbands or friends. They just won't use your photo.

A standard, above-the-shoulders color photo is the bare minimum. Prices vary from market to market, but you can usually get a professional business portrait for less than $75 from a professional photographer.

To find a photographer in your price range, start with the Yellow Pages. Or ask people you know for recommendations.

Even photo studios at places like Sears and J.C. Penney can often produce inexpensive photos that are better than the ones taken by your cousin.

Tips for looking your best

Here are tips to follow if you're having your portrait taken:

--Wear your usual hairstyle. Don't try anything new.

--Make sure your hair is styled the way you want it before you arrive at the studio.

--If you need a haircut, have it done one or two weeks before your photo session.

--Wear clothing appropriate to your profession. If you're a gardener, don't have your photo taken in a suit and tie.

--Avoid high-neck clothing that obscures your neck.

--Avoid sleeveless clothing.

--It's risky to wear prints that draw attention away from your face. When in doubt, be safe with solids (but not black or white).

--When applying make-up, pay special attention to your eyes. That's what people see first.

--Eye shadow adds depth. Avoid iridescent colors. Stick to neutral.

--If you wear glasses, ask your optometrist if you can borrow a pair without lenses. That way there won't be any glare.

--Powder reduces shine and helps eliminate shiny foreheads and noses.

--Be sure to tell your photographer the photos are for publicity so he knows what kind of backdrop to use. And tell him not to use a "soft focus" lense. Your photo should have sharp tones with good contrast.

--Don't have your photo taken when you have a dark suntan or it will look like your face is oily.

--Don't forget to smile! If you don't, you might come off looking bored or sad.

When I have my photo taken every two or three years, I splurge for a hair and make-up artist who primps me until I look my best, then stays with me during the entire photo shoot. Her fee is about $150, and the results are worth every penny. But you don't need to spend that kind of money if you don't have it. Just follow the tips above and you'll be fine.

Pay for as many shots as you can afford so you have a good selection of images from which to choose. Also, ask the photographer if the photo shoot can include one or two wardrobe changes.

In addition to the head shot, you might also consider a storytelling photo that shows you with "props" related to your event.

A toy train collector who will be featured at a train show, for example, might be photographed behind his model train display. Weekly newspapers that don't have photo staffs would welcome these types of photos.

Ordering your photos

Most print and online publications use electronic photos, but some don't. So you should have several wallet-size photos and at least one 4-by-5 print on hand just in case someone asks for it. If you're mailing prints, attach a label to the back of the photo. It should include your name, address, phone number, email address and the year the photo was taken.

Never write on the backs of photos with a pen or felt-tip marker. If you are mailing more than one photo, slip a blank piece of paper between them. Sometimes the pressure of the post office's mailing equipment can cause the back of one picture to rub off onto the front of another.

I advise Publicity Hounds that when sending prints to publications, don't ask editors to return them. It makes you look cheap. Besides, you want to encourage them to keep the photos in their files for use months or even years later.

Make electronic versions available

If you're posting your photo to your website, you can scan it at 72 dots per inch and it will look fine.

But editors who want to use the photos in print publications will need the photo scanned at 300 dots per inch, at the size they want to use the photo or larger. That means you can't take a thumbnail-size headshot, scan it at 300 dots per inch and offer it to an editor who wants to use it at 2-by-3 inches. That editor needs at least a 2-by-3 photo scanned at 300 dpi. So make several sizes available. I make four sizes available scanned at 300 dots per inch. You can see how I offer it to editors by clicking here.

For most flexibility, offer a 4-by-5, color jpg scanned at 300 dpi. Any professional editor or publisher will be able to work with that. Some may use it in black and white, some may make it smaller, and some may lower the resolution.

I suggest you include your photos under a "Media Room" button on your home page so it's easy for editors to find what they're looking for.

And remember to smile!

Joan Stewart, also known as The Publicity Hound and a contributor to EzineArticles.com, writes a blog at http://www.PublicityHound.net and also publishes "The Publicity Hound's Tips of the Week," a free ezine on how to generate thousands of dollars in free publicity. Subscribe at her website at http://www.PublicityHound.com and receive free the handy checklist "89 Reasons to Send a News Release." She is writing an ebook on how to use photos and graphics in a publicity campaign.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



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8:15 PM |

Sloppy Speech Habits Can Affect the Job Interview. How to Communicate Constructively.

You may look good on paper but do you sound as good as your resume looks? Careless speech habits can keep you from getting that plum job.

Companies seek job candidates who are well-spoken and articulate And recruiters won't represent a job candidate if they don't match the client's profile.

According to Lori Zelman, Vice President of Human Resources at Strategic Workforce Solutions in New York City, "The people most highly sought after are the ones who are succinct in the explanation of their work experience."'

Here are some of the biggest speech habits that can create a negative impression"

Non-words-Filler words such as "um," "ah", "you know", "okay", or" like", tell the interviewer you are not prepared. A better strategy is to pause and breathe. Think before you speak. Everybody utters an occasional "um" but don't start every sentence with a non-word.

Uptalk -A singsong or rising inflection at the end of every sentence creates a tentative impression. It sounds as if the candidate is asking a question instead of making a statement. To speak with conviction, bring you intonation down at the end of a sentence.

Grammatical Errors-The interviewer may question your education level when you use incorrect grammar or slang. Expression such as "ain't ", "She don't," "He should've went," " Me and my friend," "So I goes to him," are not appropriate for an interview. Be sure that you speak in complete sentences and that the tenses agree. The interview is not the venue for regionalisms of extreme informality.

Sloppy Speech-This is incorrect pronunciation as in the example "aks" for "ask", "ath a lete": for "athlete," "wif" for "with" "dree" for "three. Slurring words together or dropping off the ending of words will impair the clarity of the message., To avoid slurring and to increase understanding, speak more slowly during an interview. Make a list of commonly mispronounced words and practice saying them into a tape recorder. before the interview.

Speed Talking-Speed talkers are perceived as nervous. While everybody feels a little anxiety during an interview, you don't want your information to fly by like a speeding bullet. A rapid speaking rate is difficult to follow. To avoid rushing, do some breathing exercises before the interview to slow down your racing heart. Listen to the question and count two beats in your head before answering. At the end of your sentence, count two beats again before continuing. Pausing is an effective communication technique. Don't be afraid of silence. The interviewer needs a few seconds to process what you just said.

Weak Speak-These are wimpy words that modify or water down your conviction. The end result is that it weaken your position. When a conversation is peppered with words like "hopefully," "perhaps,:" I feel,"" I wish," "I'll try," " if," "kind of," "sort of, " the message being conveyed is a lack of confidence. Take a stand by using power words such as "I'm confident that.," "My track record shows," "I take the position that," "I recommend," "My goal is.." The language you use gives the listener insight into your level of confidence and conviction.

You don't have to study elocution to speak well. Simply slow down, take time to pronounce all the syllables, and leave the slang at home

Copyright Diane DiResta 2005.

Diane DiResta, President of DiResta Communications, Inc. is an International speaker, coach, and author of Knockout Presentations: How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz. To subscribe to Impact Player, a free online newsletter visit http://www.diresta.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



Destructive communication erodes self-esteem and harms relationships. Such communication patterns may be destructive, but, sadly, plenty of people fall into the trap of indulging in them. If you and your relationship partners follow these rules and steer clear of the traps of destructive communication, you will almost certainly feel better about each other and your relationship.

1. Use I-messages instead of You-messages. You-messages sound blaming and accusing. With an I-message, you can convey the same message without sounding blaming. For example:

You-message: "You left the dishes in the sink again." I-message: "When you don't clean up after yourself, I feel taken advantage of."

2. Communicate the entire message.

According to McKay et al. in their excellent book Couple Skills (see Suggested Reading), complete messages include four components:

Observations: neutral statements of fact

Thoughts: your own opinions and beliefs

Feelings: descriptions of your emotions

Needs: a statement of what you need or want from the other person

Here is an example of a complete message: "The weekend is coming up. I hope we can go to the movies together. I would like to spend some time with you." An incomplete message leaves out one or more of these components. It might sound like this: "I hope we can go to the movies this weekend." There isn't really anything wrong with this statement, but the first one is more complete and will more likely result in the speaker getting what he or she wants.

3. Don't use your feelings as weapons. Just describe what you are feeling as objectively as possible, not aggressively. Be as specific as possible and keep your voice under control. For example:

Objective: "I felt really hurt when you said that I probably wouldn't pass the bar the first time."

Aggressive: (yelling) "You are such an idiot! How dare you insult me like that!"

4. Use specific language. When you have a complaint, be specific. For example, "I'm upset that you left the food out on the table" is clearer than saying, "Thanks for the mess you left me." The first statement is less likely to produce defensiveness and leaves little room for misunderstanding.

5. Focus on the problem, not the person. Consider how different these two statements sound:

"You are such a complete slob."

"I wish you would take your stuff upstairs."

Attacking someone's personality or character-rather than a specific behavior-is different from simply expressing a complaint. A complaint focuses on a specific action. Criticism is more blaming and more global. It sounds like this: "You always screw the budget up. Can't you do anything right?" Behavior like this is damaging to a relationship because:

�€� Criticism is destructive rather than constructive.

�€� It involves blame.

�€� Criticisms are global and tend to be generalizations (you always, you never, etc.).

�€� Criticisms attack the other person personally.

�€� It feels overwhelming to be on the receiving end.

6. Stop bringing up ancient history. It's more constructive to focus on the issue at hand, not bring up past hurts. When you are upset with your partner and add past issues to the discussion, it can only escalate the conflict. It feels unfair and can never be productive. If you still have feelings about past issues, it is important to resolve them and move on, not use them as weapons every time you have a disagreement with your partner.

7. Watch out for mixed messages. Keep your statements clean, avoiding the temptation to mix compliments and complaints. For example, let's say that you meet your friend at a cocktail party. You think she looks nice, but her dress seems a little too provocative.

Straight message: "You look very nice tonight."

Mixed message: "You look so pretty. I would never have the nerve to wear that."

8. Pay attention to your body language. Your words are only part of the message you communicate. If you say "How nice to see you" while frowning, your message becomes unclear. Think about what message you want to convey and be sure that your body is in harmony with it. Watch out for things like these:

�€� Rolling your eyes

�€� Crossing your legs and arms

�€� Tapping your foot

�€� Clenching your teeth

9. Pay attention to your emotions and keep from becoming overwhelmed. If you are calm, you are less likely to say things you'll later regret, things that could be destructive to your relationship. You will be less likely to become defensive and shut your partner out. Examples of ways to calm yourself and keep from getting carried away with emotion include the following: �€� Pay attention to your physical responses. Is your heart racing? Are you breathing faster? If you are, take a time-out. �€� Leave the room. Go for a drive. Do something relaxing. Listen to music or do relaxation exercises. �€� Make a conscious effort to calm yourself down. Say things to yourself like:

"I'm very upset right now, but it'll be okay. I still love her." "Even though we disagree, we still have a good relationship." "We can work this out. We're partners."

10. Resolve negative feelings. If you have bad feelings about your partner, take steps to resolve them. Don't let them grow into feelings of contempt. When you engage in behavior (verbal or nonverbal) that conveys a lack of respect, you are placing your relationship in serious danger. This includes obvious abuse, and also insults, making faces, and name-calling. Any relationship that is plagued by abusiveness and negativity will have a very difficult time surviving.

11. Don't be defensive. It is understandable to react defensively when you are in a conflict situation, but it can be dangerous to a relationship. Defensiveness tends to escalate the conflict and does nothing to resolve it. Some examples of defensive behavior include:

�€� Denying responsibility (I did not!)

�€� Making excuses (I couldn't help it; traffic was awful)

�€� Ignoring what your partner says and throwing a complaint back (Yeah, well, what about the mess you left yesterday?)

�€� Saying Yes, but...

�€� Whining

�€� Rolling your eyes or making a face

12. Don't shut down. In Why Marriages Succeed or Fail and How You Can Make Yours Last (see Suggested Reading), author John Gottman describes the dangers of shutting out the other person. He calls this behavior stonewalling and says that it means refusing to communicate, storming out of the room, or any kind of withdrawing. When a person is stonewalling, communication is impossible because he or she is refusing to participate. When it becomes a regular pattern of communication, stonewalling is very damaging to a relationship.

Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/



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